Therapist, Life Coach, and EMDR Provider in Voorhees NJ, Marlton NJ, and Cherry Hill NJ (856) 352-5428) Contact New Jersey Therapy and Life Coaching (NJTLC.com)

What Is EMDR?

If you’ve ever had the experience of knowing something is “over,” but your body reacts like it’s happening again, you already understand the basic problem EMDR is trying to solve. It can be a normal day—driving, working, trying to relax—and suddenly your heart races, your stomach churns, and your mind gets lost in a fog. You find yourself feeling feelings from an old moment. It’s confusing and frustrating because you know you’re safe now… but your nervous system is still reacting.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is one of the most effective treatments we have for helping the brain finally file those experiences where they belong: in the past. It doesn’t erase memories or hypnotize you into forgetting. It helps reduce the charge around a memory—so you can remember what happened without being hijacked by it. Think of it as helping your mind digest something it never fully processed the first time.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a proven psychotherapy method designed to assist individuals in recovering from painful life events and trauma. Occasionally, a challenging memory isn’t processed correctly and becomes "stuck,” continuing to resurface in the present via anxiety, intrusive thoughts, emotional overwhelm, nightmares, physical sensations, or negative self-perceptions.

EMDR aims to assist the brain’s natural process of working through and consolidating experiences so that memories become less triggering. The event remains significant and remembered, but it no longer feels as intense or immediate. With time, recalling the memory becomes less overwhelming and reduces feelings of shame, panic, or agitation.

How EMDR Works

EMDR employs a structured method that involves bilateral stimulation—typically guided eye movements, but occasionally alternating tapping or tones. During this bilateral stimulation, you briefly concentrate on aspects of a specific memory, such as the image, emotions, body sensations, and the belief derived from it.

This process helps the brain reframe the experience in a more adaptive way. People frequently observe a reduction in emotional intensity, a decrease in bodily tension, and a change in the meaning of the memory. For example, a belief such as “I’m not safe” might soften into “I’m safe now.” Similarly, “It was my fault” may be more accurate and compassionate, such as “I did the best I could with what I had.”

The aim isn’t to erase memories. Instead, it’s to help them feel complete, so they belong to the past and no longer influence the present.

What the EMDR Process Typically Looks Like

EMDR is not random. It follows a phased, organized process that typically includes:

1) History-taking & treatment planning
You and your therapist identify your goals, current symptoms, and potential targets for EMDR work.

2) Preparation & stabilization
Before doing any deeper processing, you build skills and resources—grounding tools, coping strategies, and ways to regulate emotions and stay steady.

3) Assessment
You clarify the target memory and the key pieces connected to it: the negative belief, emotions, and body sensations.

4) Reprocessing (desensitization)
Using bilateral stimulation, you notice what comes up as the brain begins to process the memory. The therapist checks in regularly and helps you stay within a manageable “window” of tolerance.

5) Installation & integration
As the intensity drops, the work shifts toward strengthening a more adaptive belief and helping the nervous system absorb the change.

6) Body scan, closure, and reevaluation
You check whether any distress remains in the body, end the session with stabilization, and review progress over time.

What to Expect in Sessions

In EMDR, you remain alert, conscious, and in control throughout. It’s not a form of mind control, nor are you pressured to relive experiences in a way that feels overwhelming. A skilled therapist carefully guides the session, ensuring it stays appropriately paced.

Many individuals also value that EMDR doesn't necessarily require vocalizing every detail. Usually, the emphasis is on emotions, bodily sensations, and beliefs associated with the memory, rather than on a detailed recounting. The goal isn't to “talk yourself into feeling better," but to assist your brain and nervous system in genuinely processing the experience.

What EMDR Can Help With

EMDR is commonly used to help people work through:

  • Trauma and PTSD

  • Anxiety, panic, and chronic stress

  • Grief and loss

  • Childhood wounds and attachment-related pain

  • Distressing life events (accidents, medical events, betrayal, etc.)

  • Negative self-beliefs (shame, inadequacy, “I’m not safe,” “I’m not good enough”)

  • Phobias and performance-related distress

Effective EMDR is paced EMDR. The therapist’s role isn't to push you into the most difficult material quickly. Instead, they focus on helping you remain safe, grounded, and emotionally stable as the therapy progresses.

Initially, preparation and stabilization often take priority, particularly if someone has been in survival mode for an extended period. The treatment is tailored according to the person's readiness, stress levels, and nervous system responses. When executed properly, EMDR isn't about forcing progress. Instead, it focuses on creating the appropriate environment for healing, ensuring that the process is both effective and sustainable.

To find out if EMDR is right for you, please click here to contact us by email or call us at (856) 352-5428